Real Time with your Children

This is a post I wrote back in Oct. I wanted to share it again as I have been understanding more and more the importance of spending one on one time with my children.

Time with your kids is never wasted

 
When we began having more children and as they got older, Mr. Beloved (my husband) was wise enough to see that our children needed individual one on one time with both of us. Even though I am a stay at home mom and I am with the children all day long, it seems between cooking, cleaning, laundry, nurturing the kids, etc
. the one on one time seems to be something that was hard to accomplish. 

So, he came up with the idea that every night he would take one child and I would take one child and we would alternate the kids until all kids had a turn with each of us. 

We would keep that child up an extra 15-30 min doing whatever they wanted.  Sometimes it would be a board game, a favorite book, hot chocolate, a do-nut, talking, drawing coloring, or whatever. They even would get to sit next to us in the "Special Time seat" as they call it at dinner time.

It really is such a special time with them. I really enjoy that time and they especially look forward to it as well. The bonding has been so unique with each one of them and I know that it means a lot to them, as when they have had to miss it for varies reasons they were very disappointed.  

This is just one way we try and spend individual one on one time with all 5 of our children. Sometimes its a challenge as we may want to just go to bed or do other things during that time like have time for ourselves, but in the end we know that investing in them and building a good relationship with them is far more important, after all we dont get any do overs with our kids.

What are some ways you squeeze in one on one time with your children?

Marriage Monday Polish your Marriage

On this Marriage Monday May we all treat our marriage differently than all other relationships.

Thankful Thursday "Poem"

Marriage Monday Speak kind of your husband.

                                              All Marriages thrive on one little word called

While this little word is merely 7 letters long, it makes a huge difference in your marriage. Have you ever noticed that the command given to wives in scripture is for us to respect our husbands? Not, that women don't need respect from their husbands too, but God gives us wives the command to respect our husbands to revere them.

So what is respect? If we are going to succeed in it and give it, we must first know what it is.
Respect defined by Websters Dictinonary is:

: a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.
: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way

: a particular way of thinking about or looking at something

It can also be defined as:

 

:  a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation <remarks having respect to an earlier plan>

:  an act of giving particular attention :  consideration

a :  high or special regard :  esteem

b :  the quality or state of being esteemed

c plural :  expressions of high or special regard or deference <paid our respects>

 

 

One way we as wives ca show respect to our husbands is by the way we speak about them to others.

So often I hear and read women posting things on Facebook about their spouse. Often, it is not good. Some women jokingly put their spouse down and use cutting remarks when they talk about their husband. It always makes me uncomfortable.

 

Regardless of the kind of husband you have you are commanded in scripture to respect him. By that I mean you are to respect the position he holds as your husband and leader, now it doesn't mean you have to approve, like and even encourage his sinful behavior if in fact he is is being sinful scripture shows us how women are to react when their husband is ungodly, we are told in 1 Peter 3 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;  While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

So be kind in the way you speak and have conversations about your husband for your children hear every word you speak about your husband and repeat your words. Honor your husband in your speach. 

 

 There is always something nice, kind, and praise worthy we can find about our husbands if we are only willing to look for it and not grow bitter. Unthankfulness causes bitterness, be thankful and show it in your words.

 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phil 4:8

Frugal Friday Homemade Laundry Detergent/Fabric softner

Its Frugal Friday. I know all of us homemakers can use tips on saving and being frugal with our time, money and efforts. Today I am going to write about Laundry Detergent.

The average household spends:

The average family of 4 does 8 loads of laundry per week.	8 loads per week x 52 weeks = 416 loads per year.
You can do 32 loads of laundry per container of the leading brand of laundry detergent (50 ounce size).	416 loads / 32 loads per container = 13 containers per year.
The leading brand of laundry detergent costs $14.24 per 50 ounce container.	13 containers x $14.24 = $185.12
Bottom line: An average family of four will spend $185.12 per year on laundry detergent.

The average family spends on Bleach:

3 of the 8 loads of laundry that a family of four does per week will use bleach.	8 loads per week x 52 weeks = 156 loads per year.
8 ounces of bleach is recommended per load.	156 loads x 8 ounces = 1248 ounces.
There are 96 ounces of bleach per container of the leading brand.	1248 ounces / 96 ounces per container = 13 containers per year.
The leading brand of bleach costs $2.99 per container.	13 containers x $2.99 per container = $38.87.
Bottom line: An average family of four will spend $38.87 per year on bleach.

The average family spends on fabric softener:

Dollars Spent On Fabric Softener
8 loads of laundry will be done by a family of four each week.	8 loads x 52 weeks per year = 416 loads per year.
A 32 ounce container of the leading brand of fabric softener does 40 loads.	416 loads / 40 = 11 containers per year.
The leading brand of fabric softener costs $5.99 per 34 ounce container.	11 containers x $5.99 = $65.89.
Bottom line: An average family of four will spend $65.89 per year on fabric softener.

WOW! That is a whole lot of $ in a years time. Now if you have a larger family and use the free and clear Natural brands you can expect to pay a whole lot more than the listed prices above.

Luckily, making your own laundry soap is an easy and fast process! You only need three basic ingredients to make either a powdered or liquid laundry soap:

• Washing Soda (Arm and Hammer Brand available at most stores)
• Borax (20 Mule Team Borax available at most grocery stores)
• Bar Soap (Dr. Bronner’s,  Ivory, or other natural, unscented bar soap)

Washing Soda and Borax should be available at your local grocery store on the laundry aisle. Natural bar soaps are in the health, beauty, or organic sections of the store, or online. You can also add a couple tablespoons of baking soda to help freshen clothes.
Wonder what’s in these ingredients? Borax is a naturally occurring mineral made up of sodium, boron, oxygen, and water. It is an ingredient in most of the natural soaps available now (Seventh Generation, etc.) but it is much more inexpensive to make yourself.
Washing Soda, sometimes called sodium carbonate or soda ash, is made from common salt and limestone or found as natural deposits.
Dr. Bronner’s soaps are fair trade and made with vegetable castille soap and pure organic oils.

To Make powdered laundry soap:

1. Grate the bar soap or mix in food processor until finely ground. Use the soap of your choice. I personally use Dr. Bronner’s Pure Castille Bar Soap because of its exceptional quality, and because it is available in several different natural scents like lavender, tea tree, peppermint, almond and others.
2. In a large bowl, mix 2 parts washing soda, 2 parts Borax and 1 part grated soap. (Add a few teaspoons of baking soda if desired).
3. Store in closed container. I keep mine in quart or half gallon mason jars. If you are using a big enough container, you can skip step 2 and just put all ingredients in storage container or jar and shake.
4. Use 1/8 to 1/4 cup per load of laundry.

To make liquid Laundry Soap:

1. Grate one bar of soap with cheese grater or food processor.
2. Put grated soap in pan with 2 quarts water and gradually heat, stirring constantly until soap is completely dissolved.
3. Put 4.5 gallons of really hot tap water in a 5-gallon bucket (available for free in bakeries at grocery stores, just ask them) and stir in 1 cup of borax and 1 cup of Washing Soda until completely dissolved.
4. Pour soap mixture from pan into 5-gallon bucket. Stir well.
5. Cover and leave overnight.
6. Shake or stir until smooth and pour into gallon jugs or other containers.
7. Use 1/2 to 1 cup per load.

Now instead of Bleach which only tears your clothes apart you could use vinegar and or peroxide, and for fabric softener here is a fast recipe I use;
 
{Homemade Fabric Softener}
6 Cups Water
2 Cups Hair Conditioner (You can use any kind, I did have the Suave Rosemary Mint on hand so I used that.)
3 Cups White Vinegar
Essential Oils (optional)

Mix all ingredients in mason jar will last for months stored in cabinet be sure to label it

Please leave your comments on how it works out for you if you try it, Id love to hear from you

Thankful Thursday: Remembering the life of an Extradoinary homemaker (my husbands Grandmother)

There is always something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for the life and legacy of my  husbands grandmother. She was the ultimate homemaker. Yesterday she went home to be with Jesus. I know she is more alive than she has ever been, in the presence of her savior and reunited with the love of her life, her husband of her youth.

If I could be half the homemaker she was, I know my family will be truly blessed, and rise up and bless my name as her own grown children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren have.

She poured her life and soul into homemaking. Having been a homemaker for more than half her life, raising 5 grown children, being a grandma to countless grandchildren and great grandchildren, she still always greeted you with a smile, and was always glad to see you. You were always welcomed in her home, and always felt at home.

  There was nothing Grandma wouldn't do for you. It was her nature to take care of those she loved. I watched her love those around her and I know if I could love like that, then I too would leave a great legacy. I watched her presence and quiet spirit  be a source of comfort to those around her.

Her cooking is something that we all will dearly miss. When she would prepare a meal, she did so with such great intention. Always with you in mind. Always willing to cook for you when you visited. Her hands were never to tired to serve the ones she loved.

You could taste the love in every bite. Her potato and green chili rellanos at Christmas time, her macaroni salad with chunks of cheese, and her famous mouth watering deep fried taco's with salsa, always left your taste buds lingering for more, and no matter how hard I tried I could never get mine to taste like hers. Then she would serve you a slice of her yellow cake with her homemade chocolate icing, it was a sweet melt in your mouth delicacy, and the recipe was top secret.I often would try to recreate it, but like every meal grandma served, it was the love she put into it that made it taste so good. That is something that could never be duplicated or recreated.

Her heart was a heart of love and the greatest receiver of her love was her husband who passed away 5 years prior. He was her heart.

It was evident every time she spoke of him or at the mention of his name. She always spoke so sweet of the love her youth, the countless stories she would share of him were like rare jewels hidden deep within the treasures of her heart. When she would share them, you knew you were receiving something very special and valuable. her love for him never left her, and now she is complete having been reunited with the love of her life.

If I could love my husband even half the way she loved hers, I know my heart will be the beneficiary of such honor and my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren will inherit a lifetime of precious memories, as we all have with her.

I am thankful to have been able to witness, and  be apart of such a remarkable woman's life. Sometimes you don't realize what you had until death occurs.

 There is so much I wish we would have done, visited more, called more, etc. But, I will never regret the memories that were given to us, the memories that I have to share with my children and grandchildren that they come from a legacy of homemakers, and their great grandmother was the pillar for such extraordinary work.

It was her home where countless laughs took place, tears flowed, children giggled, babies whined, the place where sisters/brothers, aunts/uncles, cousins and friends gathered, the place where we all felt at home. It was Grandmas house and you always knew you were welcomed, loved, and cherished. You knew that she was always happy to see you.

She embraced her homemaking role with dignity, humility, strength, satisfaction and joy. She willingly worked with her hands to show her love, appreciation for those that entered her home.
It was never an obligation, duty, or burden for her, but rather it was a pleasure to give of herself to those around her, to those she loved.


She gave and gave of herself even up until the last moments of her final breath. I watched her frail, weak, and tired body, give of itself as it always had her whole life, one last time she would give  her smile to her loved ones as she always had,  reaching for the hands of those around her, as if to say here is the last of what I can give you.


 We all received and benefited from all she gave and now we  are left with  memories that fill our hearts, sneak out of our eyes and roll down our cheeks.

Those memories will be passed on for generations to come.

She truly set the example for me, my daughters and grand daughters, and my sons.  As I raise the next generation of homemakers, passing the baton of homemaking to my children we will look back at  Grandmas life as a homemaker and with confidence and pride know that we come from a line of strong homemakers and we too can love and build strong homes as she did. She really did make a difference and  impact the lives of all those that knew her.

She left a legacy of love! A homemaking legacy that we will cherish for a lifetime. Until we meet again on the other side of heaven, enjoy your time of rest Grandma.

The Homemaker and her words

Homemaking is more than just chores!

 As a homemaker we often think of a woman who cleans, cooks, does laundry and raises kids. This is true, however we are doing more than just chores. We are building a legacy, a future generation. WOW! What a calling we have, that must not be taken lightly.



The verse in Proverbs 14:1 comes to mind when I think of the word "homemaker". It says,  "A wise woman builds her home but with her own hands the foolish woman tears hers down."

Building a home truly does require wisdom. I admit, I am not always wise, and fail and thus I need Jesus in every aspect of my homemaking. For the scriptures declare that Jesus is wisdom, and if any of us lack wisdom, God will give it to us liberally. He will not withhold it from us.  What a gracious and generous God we serve.



          One way we as homemakers build our home is in our words. Our words have the power to heal or hurt. They can be gracious or out right mean. They can build up or tear down.

We must take care to speak words that will build, building up our home in love, grace, peace, patience,mercy, 

kindness, gentleness, self-control, faithfulness, thankfulness and joy.




The words we speak can never be taken back, erased, removed or forgotten. They are deep morsels penetrating the soul! Lets be careful on how we build careful to chose each word before it leaves our tongue, careful about our tone.

                                         Our husband and children are people who deserve

  They deserve to live in a home where the words spoken are words that build them up in Jesus                                                                 and in their holy faith.

                     Here are 5 ways to use your words to build up your          husband and children :

1)Praise -  Praise your husband and children for a job well done, for trying, for godly character, for working hard, and for their efforts.(Wow, good job helping your little brother. ) (Honey, you are so good with the children they are blessed to have you as their father.)

2)Thankfulness - Speak words of thanks to your husband and children, tell them often how thankful you are for them and thank them for the things they do. Vocalize thanksgiving throughout the day, (God is so good I am thankful he blessed us today with a sunny day) (Thank you sweetheart for all you do for our family and for providing for us.)

3)Sing - Sing hymns or worship songs or bible verses to your children, its a great wya to memorize scripture and a great way to lift the mood in the home.

4)Speak the word -When you talk to your husband and children quote scripture and speak of heavenly things, talk often of Jesus his life, death and resurrection, and of the goodness of God.

5)WATCH YOUR TONE - Speak in a soft gentle tones even when you are angry, upset, frustrated. Its amazing how a patient and a whisper voice gets your husband and children's attention more than a loud, defiant, demanding voice/tone. Practice a tender sweet soft tone when you talk and correct your children. it really does make a difference.


I realize that these 5 tips are challenging and hard but I also know that the Holy Spirit gives to us the fruit of the Spirit it is him working in and through us. His Spirit builds godly character in us as we live out our faith. He can and will work these things in you. Trust Him for the results, and by his grace walk obediently and faithfully to His call. 

Even a Child is known by his doing

Grocery shopping with kids, as many of you know is always an adventure. You never know exactly what will happen or go wrong.
I often pray before I go into the store that my kids put into action all the training they have been taught. Sometimes they do and well sometimes they don't. When they do well I walk out feeling victorious. Today was one of those days.

You can imagine how proud I was when my oldest son (Humbled by God, as I call him)  began to bag all the groceries of the customer in front of us, he often does this and sometimes people offer to pay him for his hard-work. The cashier who knows us by name (because we visit the same grocery store so often), began telling the customer in front of us how the little boy sacking groceries was always doing this when we come. She spoke so highly of him that it really blessed me.

I often repeat and quote Proverbs 20:11 to my children that they now know it by memory, " Even a child is known by his doing whether his work be pure, and whether it be right  to my kids. " One thing I remind them of is that who they are today is who they will tomorrow, that everything they do today is building their character for the kind of person they will become tomorrow and the next day and the next, and so they must chose wisely. I like to keep it real with them.

My son was so proud when I praised him and pointed out that his work was noticed by the cashier, his smile was big and he knew he was building his character in our community.

Yes, even a child is known by his doing. What a child does he is known by it to others.  The cashier knows my son by his actions, by his serving of others, and hard work.

Writing Letters

It will be 16 years Thanksgiving Day that my mama has been gone, She was tragically killed by a drunk driver Thanksgiving day when I was 17years old. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember her or think of her.

Now that I have children of my own, I think of her and how she would be with them, we talk of her often and I make sure my kids know her through my memories and photographs of her.

I am thankful for the memories God gives us, and the grace he provides through His Son Jesus Christ who has conquered death and gives us the blessed assurance of eternal life, for all that are His!

My mom before she died was working on a Album for me it had a picture of an Angel that she drew free hand and a sweet Prayer. It is the only thing that I have of hers. I have saved it for the past 16years, it is a treasure I have kept close to my heart. When I started having children of my own it really encouraged me to write letters to my children in case something every happened to me, they would know me and my love for them through all the letters I wrote them.

Given, there are times I skipped and forgot but I managed to write a letter a month for each one of them, as time went by the letters got fewer and I began to write again to them. I keep a journal with their picture in it and a daily prayer for them I also write little things about them, lest they never forget my love for them.

It sure did come in handy, not for the purpose I thought it would be for, I figured if I died or something tragic happened to me then they'd have my letters, but when   Humbled by God (my 8yr old son) ran to his room angry and said to me  one day "You dont care, You dont love me" I knew it was time to give him all the letters I had written to him.

I walked into his room and said, I know you are angry right now, and I am sorry if I caused you to feel unloved in anyway and if I caused you to feel like I don't care, please forgive me and when you are ready you can come to me and tell me what I did or said to make you feel this way. I then handed him a huge box of letters, I said, " I had been writing these since the day you were born, I planned on giving them to you when you got married or if I died before then, then you would have them". I asked him to read them before he came out to talk to me.

After about 2 hours he came out in tears, very Humbled  and was thankful for my love and for the time I took in writing to him. I have done this for all 5 of my dear children and husband. This is just one way I can reaffirm my love for them.

It isn't anything long or fancy sometimes I write only 2 sentences, but it is always so fun to go back and read what I wrote from years ago, I know they will all come to appreciate it some day, even as I have with my one page prayer and drawing my mom made me. It is treasure indeed.

How about you, do you journal or write to your kids? Id love to hear what you do?