Marriage Monday 3 Ways to rot your mans bones 3 Ways to be a crown

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

Are you ashamed of your man? Well, if you are then you are rotting his bones.
Here are 3 sure ways to you can rot your husbands bones.

1)Complain

A complaining spirited woman is surely one who is like death to a man, heck she is like death to anyone who hears her. I know I've been a complaining wife before, heck some days I just cant wait for my husband to come home to pour my heart out to him,my heart of complaints. I let him have an earful, I tell him how horrible of  day I had, how the children bickered all day, how they fought, how they messed and didn't help me clean. I go on and on about how hard I have it or how so and so said this on Facebook. Then I begin to complain about how tired I am.
Ladies stop complaining to your husband you are sucking his bones dry, like vinegar to a chicken bone causing it to bend and wear thin. Your man doesn't want to hear your complaints heck hardly anyone does. Surely he wishes he was on the rooftop.

2)Be unthankful/ungrateful

A unthankful Spirit is a miserable soul. When a wife is unthankful she will wallow in self-pity and want everyone around to feel sorry for her. I've done it. We all have done it. This is where we are good at manipulating others into feeling bad for us. Goodness I've been there a thousand times. I will sit and feel so sorry for myself how I have it so hard homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, buying groceries on a shoe string budget or make a big fuss that our husband doesn't get us flowers or gifts or take us on dates. Rather than be so unthankful for the things we do have the people in our lives and the love we've been shown. Un-thankfulness robs your joy and kills your happiness.

3) Be ashamed of your Husband

An embarrassed wife is a wife who is ashamed of her husband. This can manifest itself in the way our husbands dress, look, act or the job he has. We can be ashamed that he doesn't lead us the way we want, that he doesn't pray or read the Bible to us the way we desire or maybe he doesn't dress the way we want or maybe he doesn't dress the kids the way we want. So rather than be proud of the man God gave us we are shamefaced at all he does, shaking our heads at him and scorning our finger at him.

       On the bright side we can be a crown to our husband.
                    3 ways to be a crown to your husband

1) Praise/Adoration

A wife who praises her husband and adores her man can be a crown to him. he will defiantly be proud to have her as a wife, he will want to display her for all to see. He will compliment her and be so thankful for her. When we adore our husbands this shows we are honored to be their wives. Praise them for being our husband for being the father of our children, praise them for loving us and praise them for small accomplishments like taking the garbage out, dressing the kids, or even just for staying married to us.

2)Pray for your man

A praying wife is for sure a wife who is a crown to her man. She is concerned about the wellbeing of her husband, she watches out for the affairs of him by praying for him. A wife who prays for her husband truly shows him that she trust God to work in and through him. She is saying I love you enough to pray for you daily. This is a virtuous  woman, a woman who prays.


3)Thankfulness

A thankful spirit is a crown anyone would be honored to wear. A wife who is thankful can conquer the world. She can overcome anything. Be that kind of wife who is always smiling always thankful. So when your man walks in or wakes up first thing in the morning he sees your bright eyes happy to see him smiling. A thankful heart radiates and lights up any dark room.


You see we get to chose our attitude and how we want to be. D we want to be cancer to our husbands bones or a crown that he proudly wears?

The hearts of your children are like soil in a garden....Part 1

                

 

                                                 The Parable of the Sower

Matthew 13:3-23

"1  The same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat by the sea side.
2  And great multitudes were gathered together unto him, so that he went into a ship, and sat; and the whole multitude stood on the shore.
3  And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow:
4  And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
5  Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:
6  And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
7  And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
8  But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, and some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, somethirtyfold."

 

 

                          Over the next month of so  I will be blogging about The Parable of the Sower and how the heart of your children are like soil in a garden.  I will dive into this verse and apply it to our children.

 

Every year we plant a garden, its not the biggest or greatest but its enough for our family of 7. Every year we spend a vast amount of time cultivating the soil.

 

We attest our soil to see the quality of it, and test the PH levels to determine what it needs, then we add organic compost material to it,  this is to ensure it is receiving the best nutrition possible, for we have learned the hard way that if you don't prepare the soil then you can not expect a bountiful harvest.

 

The seeds you plant will only grow if the soil in which it was planted in has been cultivated, tilled, and worked.

 

Yes, this process is tedious and the hardest. But, it is very, very, crucial in order to yield a good harvest.

 

 

Our children's souls/hearts/minds are like that of soil in a garden.

 

We are like that of a gardener a farmer a sower planting seeds in their hearts/minds/souls.

One day harvest time will come.

Every farmer/gardener and sower will tell you that the key to a good harvest is the soil. The right soil will produce the right harvest.

It is the job of the farmer/gardener/sower to care for soil that he or she is planting in.

 

As a parent we must cultivate, till, prepare the soil of their hearts/mind/souls.

 

If we want a bountiful harvest in them we must take the time to nurture the soil of their hearts/minds/souls.

 

Taking time to pour good into them, take time to add nutrition and value to their minds their hearts 

 

We must daily  and constantly be  adding to the soil because one day a garden will grow.

 

We must test the soil of their minds/hearts/souls to see where it lacks substance so that we can

make the necessary changes to ensure that they are getting what they need to thrive.

 

How can we cultivate the soil of their minds/hearts/souls?

 

5 Ways to Cultivate the soil of the minds/hearts/souls of your children

 

 

1)Guard what they hear

The hears are what send messages to the mind. The things they hear will become thoughts they think. What do our children hear from us? How do they hear us talk about them? How do they hear us speak towards them/tone? What do they hear when we aren't around? Do we guard what messages they listen to via. internet/T.V/Sunday School/School/Family/Friends/Etc.?

 

2)Guard what they see

The eyes are windows to the soul. The things the see, penetrate into the mind what they see they act. What do our children see us doing with our time? Our finances? Our relationships? Our spirituality? Our talents? Our gifts? The way we treat people and treat our spouses?

Do we guard their eyes or do we let them watch every show on T.V and see every latest movie? Do

 

3)Guard what is spoken by them

The tongue is a small member of the body but it can not be tamed

How do our children speak? Do they speak words that edify or tear down? Do our children joke wrongly? Do they mock/scoff and laugh at righteousness and our authority? Are they thankful?

Do we guard what words they say and how they say it? Do we guard how other people speak to them?

 

4)Guard their deed

A action becomes a habit a habit becomes a lifestyle a lifestyle makes a person

Are the actions and behaviors of our children important to us? Do we guard behaviors/actions that we see them displaying? Do we encourage good behavior or do we feel like we are being to "religious" to encourage morality in them? Do we guard morality in their behaviors? Do we guard what influences of behavior we allow our children to encounter? Do we guard what company they keep?

 

5)Guarding a thankful spirit

Do we encourage and instill thankfulness in everything ? Are our children thankful? Do we help them be thankful by pointing out there is much to be thankful for? Do we guard a thankful spirit? Are we constantly pointing out the blessings?

 

 

 

 

Think of these 5 things as soil building materials essential for a garden.
 

Take each one of these materials and apply them daily

Let me know how it goes

 I'd love to hear from you

 

What Now? From Victim to Overcomer (Life after Abuse in Church)

                                          What Next?  
                     After you have left an Abusive Church....
                          


It has been almost 4  Years since our Exodus. Leaving an Abusive situation is one of the most courageous things you will ever do, (so, I am told). I wouldn't say I feel courageous for leaving in fact,  I felt more alone than anything else. There is something about Abusers that strip you of your identity and make you dependent upon them for your every thought. 

Everything you think about yourself has been given to you by them, this is what makes you a victim. You are a victim of their perceived Identity of you. They feed you lies about yourself, about them and about every detail of your life, that sound so convincing you hardly recognize it as a lie. This happens so subtail  that you are hardly even aware it is occurring. I know this to be true because I have seen the common thread amongst victims of abuse. Its as if  youve been slowly  feed poison through an I.V.

Once you do manage to leave You will be free, but its not without a cost. Infact, your new found freedom does not come without a cost. You will feel lost, alone, betrayed, confused, and your foundation will be shaken to the core. You will wonder if you did the right thing, especially as you experience the shunning of those that were at one time your closest friends, your prayer partners, your after church fellowship buddies. Things will be hard, but you will be FREE. 

                                                Freedom always comes at a cost......

No, it has not been easy, there have been times in weakness when I have wanted to wallow back, I have been tempted to crawl back into the abusers arms. I suppose its because their is familiarity there. Perhaps, its comforting to know that no matter what they were always there, even if the relationship was dysfunctional, hurtful, painful and abusive, I knew that they would always be there, and as long as I was doing/saying the right things (doing and saying the things they wanted me to), I knew I could count on them to stay in my life. I dont know why I found this comforting perhaps its because no one ever wants to be alone. After all, the abusers are very good at reminding you that an isolated life apart from them is sinful and impossible because you NEED THEM.

So what now? Having gone from church to church trying to find a place to belong, I must say I  have felt like those tweleve tribes scattered abroad mentioned in the book of James. What was said to them applies to us all, count it all joy my brethren when you fall into divers temptaions, knowing that the trying of your faith produces patience. 

Yes, that's it, its patience being worked in us. Patience a by product of love (1 Corinthians 13:4) working in us that we may be perfect, wanting nothing. (James 1:4)

So I will wait for the day when the Lord returns, and set all things right. Yes, there will come a day when he will make all things right when His church will be complete lacking NOTHING. So while we wait, we can ask for wisdom and he promises to give it to us without reservation. We can hold to the promise that in Him we are complete, we lack nothing and we have a future glory awaiting us, we have HIM. 

As we wonder scattered abroad searching for a place to fellowship with others that gather and call themselves the "Church", there is great comfort in knowing that we are the Church we are the Bride and he is the Bridegroom, and our identity is found in what he has done for us. 

We may bear the scars and wounds of the abuse that took place by those that were called to shepherded  but rather they used their position to prosper their own "Vision" their own "Agenda" using our Lords name as a means of gain and a means of power to rape our souls. Yes, the scars may remain and will be sensitive, some will say, "Get over it"  but the thing is you never "Get over" abuse, you only rise above it and you only Overcome.

 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

  He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels. Revelation 3:5

 
You overcome because the one that has overcometh all EVIL OF SIN lives in you. Jesus lives you. 

Trusting leadership in a church setting will not come easy after this and relationships will be hard. You will always proceed with caution and with new eyes. Some will understand, some wont. But through it all in your going forward there is one who sticketh closer than a brother. He will never leave you nor forsake you and he will lead you beside still waters, beside green pastures. He will restore your soul. His grace will be sufficient for us as we press on towards that upward goal forgetting what is behind and reaching to new heights, new depths, knowing that all things work together for the good to those that are the called and love him. 

Yes, we are the called, by him, he has called us to be his, to suffer with him, to be partakers, what a glorious calling. 

So, maybe you are reading this now having left your abusive church and you are wondering What Now? May I offer a word of encouragement to you be reassured in your identity in Jesus the identity he gave you and know that you are more loved than you can ever imagine. You are valued in Christ. And you are not alone in your Exodus journey. 

Marriage Monday

Being your Husbands Biggest Fan His Cheerleader in the stands and his friend....


Being a man in this world in this brutal can sure take a toil on a person especially the men in our lives. Whether your man is a spiritual godly man or not, for him to assert his masculinity and attempt to take the leadership role in the home the world will look on with eyes full of criticism. 

What about us ladies? What do our eyes convey to our men? Do we have eyes of praise, adoration, of admiration? or, do we look upon our husband with disgust and disappointment.

Trust me, the only set of eyes that matter to him are yours. He can face the worlds criticism and the worlds disapproval but he can not face your dis contempt of him.

Treat him like he has already arrived, like he is already that godly man, like he is already that amazing leader, that wonderful father and that great husband. Chances are he will step up to the plate, the more you treat and love him.

Be his friend, where he wants to share things with where he shares his secrets his thoughts with. Be the woman he runs to and be a haven for him. Remind him that you are by his side through the good the bad the ugly and everything in between.

Real Time with your Children

This is a post I wrote back in Oct. I wanted to share it again as I have been understanding more and more the importance of spending one on one time with my children.

Time with your kids is never wasted

 
When we began having more children and as they got older, Mr. Beloved (my husband) was wise enough to see that our children needed individual one on one time with both of us. Even though I am a stay at home mom and I am with the children all day long, it seems between cooking, cleaning, laundry, nurturing the kids, etc
. the one on one time seems to be something that was hard to accomplish. 

So, he came up with the idea that every night he would take one child and I would take one child and we would alternate the kids until all kids had a turn with each of us. 

We would keep that child up an extra 15-30 min doing whatever they wanted.  Sometimes it would be a board game, a favorite book, hot chocolate, a do-nut, talking, drawing coloring, or whatever. They even would get to sit next to us in the "Special Time seat" as they call it at dinner time.

It really is such a special time with them. I really enjoy that time and they especially look forward to it as well. The bonding has been so unique with each one of them and I know that it means a lot to them, as when they have had to miss it for varies reasons they were very disappointed.  

This is just one way we try and spend individual one on one time with all 5 of our children. Sometimes its a challenge as we may want to just go to bed or do other things during that time like have time for ourselves, but in the end we know that investing in them and building a good relationship with them is far more important, after all we dont get any do overs with our kids.

What are some ways you squeeze in one on one time with your children?

Marriage Monday Maintence

Yesterday, I began to look around my house and see all the maintenance that needed to be done. The laundry vents need to be cleaned out, the air conditioner needs to be switched over, the weeds need pulling, the doors/base boards need touching up.

When you own a home you know all the repairs/fix ups that need to be done and the often maintenance that it takes to keep the house in tip top shape, and in some cases just looking decent.

Likewise with a a vehicle. The oil needs changing, it needs tuning, new filters, spark plugs, tire pressure all need to be checked and changed out. 

So much to do, when you own a home or a vehicle. If you don't maintain either then it will decay faster and break down.

Our Marriages also need maintenance. We need to maintain them. One way to do this is by doing monthly evaluations of your marriage.

You and your husband can keep a log of goals and things you want to accomplish.

As a helpmeet to my husband, I often ask him to tell me 3 ways/ areas I am doing good in my role as his wife and helper  and 3 areas that I am not doing well in, this gives me a balanced approach.

Another way to maintain your marriage is by having Date Nights. These can happen in many forms:

1)Hire a sitter for a couple hours if you can afford it

2)Leave the kids with grandparents

3)Offer swap babysitting with friends/family (you babysit for their date night and in return they babysit for you)

4)Put the kids to bed early and you and your spouse have time together.

5)Ask a close friend from Church or work someone you trust to come over for a couple hours to watch your kids (to show a thank you get him/her a gift card)


Another way to connect and maintain your marriage is through communication. This can happen in many ways:

1)Sending friendly texts and flirtatious texts to your husband is a fun way to maintain and communicate to your husband.

2)Leave cute notes around the house for your husband to find redeemable coupons of sort, one that says "this entitles you to a massage", or "this entitles you to a kiss", or "this entitles you to a .." let your imagination take over, be creative.

3)Send him a email

4)Use social media as a way to communicate your love,adoration and appreciation for him


Another way to maintain your marriage is by being Spontaneous. there are several ways you can do this:

1) Have a overnight day surprise him with a date somewhere overnight without the kids

2)When all the kids are sleeping light some candles and put some soft music on and give him a foot massage 

3)When the kids are sleeping go outside and have a tent ready with a small fire to look at the stars together (if you have a trampoline you can have blankets on the trampoline and watch the stars laying down)

4)Have a romantic dinner prepared when he gets home



No matter what you do just remember that if you want something to last forever you must shield it and protect it. You must maintain it!!!

I hope these ideas help you on this Marriage Monday. Id love to hear how you maintain your marriage...Post your comments below

Marriage Monday" Your canvas, Your master piece, Your work of Art, Your Marriage"

              Marriage is hard work, but I am learning little things                                    add up and make a difference.

The small things we do in our marriage should be done with Great and Big love.
 It really does matter and it really does make a difference.



When you make his breakfast, lunch, dinner or pack his lunch. It matters, do it with great love.


When you wash his laundry, pick up his dirty socks, sweep his crumbs. It matters, do it with great love.

When you make his bed, clean the bathroom he used, put the trash bag in the trash can (because he forgot again) It matters, do it with great love.

When you look into his eye do so with adoration, when you smile at him do so with gratitude, when you  hold his hand do so with appreciation.

It all matters so do it with great love

Life is short and the days are passing, turning into weeks, and the weeks turn to months and the months turn to years, the years turn into decades and the decades turn into a lifetime.

It all matters so do it with a great love. Dont miss the opportunity to love your spouse greatly. Yes, he may have his quirks, his funny way of doing things, he may annoy you at times as Im sure you do him, but in the end He CHOSE YOU to be His FOREVER FRIEND, LOVER, AND SOUL MATE.

You are His and He is Yours. Together you are a masterpiece. Your  marriage is a piece of Art.

So how do we create and or add to our masterpiece, our work of art? What if you look at your marriage canvas and see a huge blob of a mess? What now? Is there any hope you might ask?

Certainly, I am no expert, my canvas is a bit messy, but its a beautiful mess, that my husband and I created together. Sure, the shading is all wrong, and its a bit abstract looking and those who have no appreciation for Art probably gaze with no gratitude for such a canvas. But, it is ours and I am proud of what we have painted together.

We as wives can certainly be thankful for such Art. Here are a few things we can do to add to our canvas.

 I hope that you enjoy your beautiful canvas on this Marriage Monday display it proudly and Rejoice

Marriage Monday Forgiveness keep the light on

Ephesians 4:32 
                    And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

^{Matthew 18:21-22} Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

 

Its been 13 years since I have been married, and the one thing I have learned is that I can stand my ground and be "right" in my marriage but I will be lonely and the most pitied woman on earth.

Or I can chose to forgive knowing that I have been greatly forgiven .

 There is no sin my spouse commits against me that is greater than my own sin before Almighty God!

The garments of forgiveness is bitterness that manifest itself in hurtful words, a heart that is hard toward the other person. 
It is opposite of life, opposite of light, opposite of love it is poison to the soul.

 

                                  Don't kill yourself with it

 You may stand your ground in your marriage in being "right" but it will not come without a cost, your children are watching, your neighbors are watching, your friends, your family are all watching.

Be the gospel of grace, while we were yet SINNERS CHRIST DIED FOR US.  We werent perfect we werent sinless we weren't righteous when Christ chose to love us. WE WERE SINNERS!!!!

 You can forgive if you chose to. The condition of which your heart is in can still chose forgiveness it is an act of the will.

 You can combat unforgiveness with Grace like a light, keep it turned it on, especially during those dark times when your spirit wants to hold a grudge and your wounded heart wants to hold to "My rights" attitude shine the light of grace turn on forgiveness, give your children the example of the gospel in your marriage.

There is no sin in your marriage that cant be forgiven, even as there is no sin that God hasn't forgiven you of.

Marriage Monday Smile, ,KISS , Flirt, Enjoy your husband

                      Its Marriage Monday

SMILE AT YOUR HUSBAND

KISS YOUR MAN

FLIRT

ENJOY YOUR HUSBAND

Marriage Monday Polish your Marriage

On this Marriage Monday May we all treat our marriage differently than all other relationships.

Thankful Thursday "Poem"

Marriage Monday Speak kind of your husband.

                                              All Marriages thrive on one little word called

While this little word is merely 7 letters long, it makes a huge difference in your marriage. Have you ever noticed that the command given to wives in scripture is for us to respect our husbands? Not, that women don't need respect from their husbands too, but God gives us wives the command to respect our husbands to revere them.

So what is respect? If we are going to succeed in it and give it, we must first know what it is.
Respect defined by Websters Dictinonary is:

: a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.
: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way

: a particular way of thinking about or looking at something

It can also be defined as:

 

:  a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation <remarks having respect to an earlier plan>

:  an act of giving particular attention :  consideration

a :  high or special regard :  esteem

b :  the quality or state of being esteemed

c plural :  expressions of high or special regard or deference <paid our respects>

 

 

One way we as wives ca show respect to our husbands is by the way we speak about them to others.

So often I hear and read women posting things on Facebook about their spouse. Often, it is not good. Some women jokingly put their spouse down and use cutting remarks when they talk about their husband. It always makes me uncomfortable.

 

Regardless of the kind of husband you have you are commanded in scripture to respect him. By that I mean you are to respect the position he holds as your husband and leader, now it doesn't mean you have to approve, like and even encourage his sinful behavior if in fact he is is being sinful scripture shows us how women are to react when their husband is ungodly, we are told in 1 Peter 3 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;  While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

So be kind in the way you speak and have conversations about your husband for your children hear every word you speak about your husband and repeat your words. Honor your husband in your speach. 

 

 There is always something nice, kind, and praise worthy we can find about our husbands if we are only willing to look for it and not grow bitter. Unthankfulness causes bitterness, be thankful and show it in your words.

 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phil 4:8

Thankful Thursday Take time

                     
                           Its been one week since the passing of my Husbands Grandmother.

                                          Time seems to go by so quickly. 

               Seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days, days to weeks,   weeks to months and months to years.






I am thankful that God has given to us the gift of time, the time to  create memories.

So today take your time...

take time to smile
take time to laugh and giggle with your children
take time to sit and talk with them
take time to play

take time to cuddle with your spouse
time to pray and listen to his heart
time to hold him in your arms 
time to kiss
time to mold into his chest

time to remember friends afar sending a quick note of thankfulness
time to think about family you love and memories shared
time to call and let them know your thinking of them
time to encourage someone today

 time to go outside and look up at the sky
time to feel the breeze in your hair
the sun shine upon your face
time to watch the sunrise and sunset
time to hear the birds chirp early morning

time to wish the cashier a merry day
time to hold the door open for a stranger
time to tell your neighbor your thankful for them in the form of a baked good
     
take time today and slow down for memories are being built, take time to fill your mind with thankful thoughts and your words with thanksgiving for there is much to be thankful for

Keeping it real Homemaking "Creating a masterpiece"

Homemaking truly is a art that we practice daily we will never be perfect at it and until the day the Lord calls us home we will have created this beautiful canvas.

Homemaking is like that of a blank canvas. Each day you decide what you want to add to it. You decide the color schemes, the theme, and the effects.

God has given to us homemakers so marvelous tools to use to create beautiful masterpieces.

He has given to us His spirit. The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, and self control.

Imagine what a beautiful portrait we can paint when we let our colors be the fruit the spirit.

Let us paint our homes with love ,a love that is so bright and radiant.
Let our brushes stroke to the beat of joy today, let the the canvas we paint  be loud full of joy and laughter
Let the color of peace be evident upon our response, so soft and pastel
Let our gentleness be calming and soothing to others around us that it is relaxing to to eye
Let us display self control that it is evident from afar

Let the work our our hands create beautiful homes that are on display for all to see and want let them see Jesus in all you do, let them see the cross and the grace in which you stand upon. Let the canvas we paint today be a masterpiece unto the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. For he is worthy of all our praise.

Do away with the "Poor me"

Marriage Monday 

Staying in love has everything to do with forgiveness and gratefulness. Without forgiveness you will remain bitter and un-thankful.

Marriage is alot of work.

 There was a time in my marriage when I use to keep track of everything my husband did wrong. 

It was so easy to point out all his faults, shortcomings, and sin.

I had this poor me attitude. 

Poor me, I always have to cook, and clean, take care of the kids, I never get any time for myself.

Poor me, I dont get to go out and work like he does, poor me, poor me I never get a break. Poor me little Cinderella here at home all day long, never get to go to the ball but rather serve serve serve. 

Slave away in my castle, waiting for Prince Charming to come wisk me off my feet. 

Then my husband would come home and he was from Prince Charming. My expectations of him were to come home, and take over all the housework, the caring of the children, and give me the long awaited break Ive been waiting all day long for. 

This unfulfilled expectation filled my heart with bitterness and un-thankfulness. Leading to a home of joylessness. I was unhappy with a poor me attitude, and Id make sure everyone knew how miserable I was. 

Oh, those were dreadful, dreary days for sure. Forgiveness is a guard for your heart from becoming sour, thankfulness is shield against discontentment . 

When we forgive our spouse we free ourselves to love without condition. When we are thankful we shield our hearts and minds from "poor me" attitudes. 

So today on this Marriage Monday Chose to forgive chose to be thankful in your marriage and put away the "poor me" attitude.

You are far more blessed than you realize.

The Homemaker and her words

Homemaking is more than just chores!

 As a homemaker we often think of a woman who cleans, cooks, does laundry and raises kids. This is true, however we are doing more than just chores. We are building a legacy, a future generation. WOW! What a calling we have, that must not be taken lightly.



The verse in Proverbs 14:1 comes to mind when I think of the word "homemaker". It says,  "A wise woman builds her home but with her own hands the foolish woman tears hers down."

Building a home truly does require wisdom. I admit, I am not always wise, and fail and thus I need Jesus in every aspect of my homemaking. For the scriptures declare that Jesus is wisdom, and if any of us lack wisdom, God will give it to us liberally. He will not withhold it from us.  What a gracious and generous God we serve.



          One way we as homemakers build our home is in our words. Our words have the power to heal or hurt. They can be gracious or out right mean. They can build up or tear down.

We must take care to speak words that will build, building up our home in love, grace, peace, patience,mercy, 

kindness, gentleness, self-control, faithfulness, thankfulness and joy.




The words we speak can never be taken back, erased, removed or forgotten. They are deep morsels penetrating the soul! Lets be careful on how we build careful to chose each word before it leaves our tongue, careful about our tone.

                                         Our husband and children are people who deserve

  They deserve to live in a home where the words spoken are words that build them up in Jesus                                                                 and in their holy faith.

                     Here are 5 ways to use your words to build up your          husband and children :

1)Praise -  Praise your husband and children for a job well done, for trying, for godly character, for working hard, and for their efforts.(Wow, good job helping your little brother. ) (Honey, you are so good with the children they are blessed to have you as their father.)

2)Thankfulness - Speak words of thanks to your husband and children, tell them often how thankful you are for them and thank them for the things they do. Vocalize thanksgiving throughout the day, (God is so good I am thankful he blessed us today with a sunny day) (Thank you sweetheart for all you do for our family and for providing for us.)

3)Sing - Sing hymns or worship songs or bible verses to your children, its a great wya to memorize scripture and a great way to lift the mood in the home.

4)Speak the word -When you talk to your husband and children quote scripture and speak of heavenly things, talk often of Jesus his life, death and resurrection, and of the goodness of God.

5)WATCH YOUR TONE - Speak in a soft gentle tones even when you are angry, upset, frustrated. Its amazing how a patient and a whisper voice gets your husband and children's attention more than a loud, defiant, demanding voice/tone. Practice a tender sweet soft tone when you talk and correct your children. it really does make a difference.


I realize that these 5 tips are challenging and hard but I also know that the Holy Spirit gives to us the fruit of the Spirit it is him working in and through us. His Spirit builds godly character in us as we live out our faith. He can and will work these things in you. Trust Him for the results, and by his grace walk obediently and faithfully to His call. 

Marriage Monday

When I got married 13years ago we were given a beautiful       wooden  box with this poem written in it.

This box truly has been an inspiration to me in my marriage.

Marriage truly is like an empty box. Many people get married for all the wrong reasons and have an abundant of expectations when they get married, I was one of them.

 I found myself taking so much out of my box that eventually there was nothing left. I thought that my marriage would be filled with all the things I had longed for, sex, romance, companionship, hopes, dreams,intimacy, friendship, and love.

The truth is marriage at the start is in fact like an empty box. There really is nothing in it at the beginning. All the things you look for in marriage is really what is in the other person and it is up to both of you to infuse those things into your marriage lest it become an empty box.

You can not day after day take out of your box if you dont put something in it to withdrawl from.

It reminds of a bank account. You can not keep spending and withdrawing money from your bank account if you have not deposited any money into it. If you attempt to do so, you will find your account over drawn and eventually the account will need to be closed because you were irresponsible and unable to maintain it.

Early on in my marriage I would complain about my husband not being romantic enough, affectionate enough, serving enough, loving enough, etc.

I remember being reminded daily as I saw the wooden box sit on our bedroom dresser, that marriage was like an empty box. As I complained about how "empty" my marriage felt and how lonely I felt, God showed me that it was because I was withdrawing more than I had deposited. I was in the "negative" so to speak.

This led me to change the way I was treating my marriage, and to daily deposit into my marriage account.

Marriage truly is an investment. You must daily put into it if you want to take anything out of it. So rather than complain about your marriage, do something about it. Even if you are the only one who is depositing into it, so what, you are one with your spouse and why not enjoy it when your spouse gets to benefit from it.

It should make you the wife glad that you can please and make your husband happy.

So go and make deposit big into your marriage today!

Thankfulness

Mr. Beloved (my husband) has often said that being thankful works as a shield for your heart, mind, and soul.

Whenever my dear children, Graceful (age 10), Humbled by God (age 8), Adventurous (age 6), and twins Merciful (age 5) and Bold as a Lion (age 5) begin to grumble and complain Mr. Beloved will ask them to name some things things they are thankful for, it always amazes me how quickly that murky attitude turns from sour to sweet in just a matter of seconds. It works for me too.

If there is one thing I want to instill in my children it is to be Thankful. One way I try and do this is to be thankful myself, even for the smallest things. When we arise in the morning and I draw the curtains open to allow the sunshine in, I will say things like, "Wow, I am so Thankful God created the beautiful Sun and telling it to rise every morning, and that it is lighting up our home and warming it. God is so kind to remind us daily that Jesus rose from the grave and provide for our needs."  or when its time to do chores around the house I will smile and say "Im so Thankful we have these dishes to do, God is good to provide running water for us to clean the dishes and make them clean for daddy."

There are no doubt, many things to be thankful for, but the greatest is Jesus and what he has done for us on the cross. I want my children to learn to be thankful for all things in there life, from the smallest blessing to the biggest, knowing the hand that gives it to them is their Father up above. This is just one more way, we are learning in Grace.

What are some ways you teach Thankfulness to your children?